Hurtling Down a Seven-lane Highway
It’s one thing to have your whole life turned upside down by a single phone call.
It’s another to feel like you’re hurtling down a seven-lane highway at 80 mph, waiting for someone in the backseat to yell out whether the exit is on the left or the right.
I hate waiting.
It stretches time in impossible ways, turning days into years and minutes into static-filled eternities. The last two weeks have been some of the longest of my life. I’ve done my best to distract myself from what feels like impending doom or potentially the happiest moment I could imagine.
It’s funny how those two things can feel so close together.
I know I sound cryptic.
But sometimes, as a creator, you have to be. You’re in it.
And sharing something while you’re still living it isn’t always possible.
It isn’t always healthy.
You need to remember behind every polished post, behind every perfectly curated life you scroll past, there’s a human. A real one.
Just trying to keep their sh*t together.
I feel like I’m standing at a crossroads where I can’t move forward until I get the call.
Because what someone else tells me will shift the next several years of my life, without question.
In the past I would have punished myself for this pause.
I would’ve told myself to push forward anyway. To do more. To keep going.
To worry about changing course only if I had to.
But I’m softer with myself now.
More patient. More compassionate.
The drill sergeant in my head has made me cry one too many times.
So if I post a little slower, seem a little distant, feel a little off…
It’s because I am.
And that phone needs to f***ing ring, or I’m gonna lose it.
